Putting yourself out there
Putting yourself out there can be super scary. You’re vulnerable and exposed. You’re out there for people to judge you.
In school, we’re taught that if you get good marks you’re a good student. You’re smart (and for some of us this translates to ‘you’re worthy’).
In the adult world, we don’t get to write exams so we can prove to ourselves and others how smart we are.
I had to realise this the hard way.
When I had a full-time job, I could rely on other’s feedback to prove to myself and others that I was doing a good job. When I started freelancing, however, that external feedback fell away. It has taken me a good long time to realise that the only critique or judgement I need to be listening to is my own (also thanks to my brilliant life coach Masha who helped me here). Otherwise, I’m forever giving up my power and living to try and please others.
Do you give others the power to tell you what you are?Marshall Rosenberg
In truth, you never have to worry about how other people respond to you. Only how you take and respond to their response. If you rely on positive feedback from others, then negative feedback is likely to be devastating. If you have a strong belief and understanding of who you are then it doesn’t matter what others think or say.
I’ve just recently completed putting together my portfolio and it was so hard. I procrastinated for months because it’s so scary to try and put something out there that says ‘this is me’ (it’s just another website so it’s not really ME, but it might be the most of me some people see). You can check it out here: www.esteedevilliersphotography.co.za.
Your voice matters and there is space for each of us in this world. Remember that today.