Rewriting Bridget Jones’s Diary for 2020

Rewriting Bridget Jones’s Diary for 2020

I recently rewatched the 2001 RomCom Bridget Jones’s Diary and it was pretty hilarious (not only because her diary is an actual day planner, the equivalent of trying to send a text in Excel).

The first thing that would need to be amended from the original script would be the body shaming. Second would be the single shaming.

Bridget is an average built 32-year-old and the fact that people bring up her relationship status and size on the reg is very 2001. The 2020 version of this film would do no such thing.

The new Bridget

In fact, I would cast a body-positive icon like Lizzo in the title role. Also, the boss-secretary storyline is totes inappropes in this day and age. She’d have to meet lover number one Daniel Cleaver elsewhere.

The new Daniel

Since Lizzo already has such great chemistry with Harry Styles I’d cast him as Daniel. I’m assuming we live in a world where they can both act really well.

Maybe he’s a regular at the vegan raw foods restaurant she’s working at. They then ‘bump’ into each other on an online dating app like Bumble and start chatting up a storm. He’s clever and good at banter. It’s sexy.

The new Mark

Naturally, she can still meet Mark Darcy at an awkward family event (those are still the same). Although, ugly sweaters are now kind of hipster so he could have to wear something else that’s embarrassing and out of style. Maybe a Justin Bieber Christmas t-shirt? That would be the perfect amount of cringe to throw us off of him being the nice guy.

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For the role of Mark I would make him someone great like Lakeith Stanfield (dreamboat of note).

Plot twits

Just when things are heating up coronavirus would strike. Everyone being quarantined in a romcom, nobody would see it coming. Bridget, aka Lizzo, would get to spend a lot of time with her diary and maybe her hot bi roommate Shazza (played nonchalantly by non-other than Zendaya). Their Tik Toks would be lit.

They’d fall in love and be plant moms together. Bridget would publish her journal and it would be the Eat,Pray, Love of the next generation.

That’s all I’ve got for now, anything you’d like to add?

The feature image is one of the black and white film photos from my film camera, check out the gallery here.

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