Travel to Tokyo with me for a few minutes as we enjoy a traditional Japanese breakfast with a view in Shibuya, marvel at dancing Elvis impersonators at Yoyogi Park and walk the streets of Harajuku at night.
Our minds and bodies are constantly communicating with us and the outside world.
Thoughts are the language of the mind and emotions are the language of the body. We express our thoughts and emotions verbally, in written form, through body language as well as attitude.
The mind and body also communicate with one another. When you think about something negative from the past your body feels like it’s back in that moment experiencing that thing.
What if thinking a good thought could make you feel a good thing? What if you could give yourself the approval and love your seeking through tailoring your thoughts?
I’ve recently started to try and channel my future self – the better, smarter, more confident and more enlightened version of me – instead of dwelling on the past. It’s just a little exercise I do before I go to sleep inspired by this great podcast. Since then I’ve been sleeping better and feeling better. Soon I’ll be my future self. I hope you can try it too
When someone says something negative to you, you have four options on how you’ll receive the message:
- Listen to blame yourself: How is what they’re saying my fault?
- Listen to blame them: How is what they’re saying, in fact, their fault?
- Become conscious of your own feelings and needs.
- Listen out for the speaker’s feelings and needs.
When you step back and listen objectively, you’ll start to hear things differently. People don’t want to lash out and be unreasonable, but at the same time, we’re not necessarily taught how to express our needs and feelings in a clear and productive way and thus emotions flare up.
By taking responsibility for your own feelings and need you’ll allow space for the other person’s needs and feelings too and won’t adopt them as your own.
When you connect your feelings and needs you can resolve communication lapse much easier.
Ask yourself frequently: What do I feel? What do I need?
I’m currently reading NonViolent Communication and loving it. Will share more takeaways soon.
What other people think about you is out of your control.
What other people say about you, is really none of your business. If they’re talking about you, it means your talk worthy, which is already far better than being ignored, right?
As Bonang Matheba tweets:
….they have to talk about you. Because when they talk about themselves, nobody listens.— Bonang B* Matheba (@bonang_m) June 9, 2016
The only person whose opinion about yourself you should care about is your own. If you are happy with your performance, your attitude, and your actions then that’s all that matters. Other people are always going to think what they want to
It’s a reflection of them, not of you.
Of course the same goes for you, so listen to what you say about other people. What does it say about you?